Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Question #3

I had a couple of parenting- related questions asked of me. John and I are still trying to figure out this whole parenting thing. But with God's grace (and some super awesome kids) we are getting through it.

I would be interested to know what style of child rearing do you use? Or what book do you think represents best?

We actually do use a book! When Lilly (our oldest) was about 6 months old someone gave us a copy of To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl. We read it, prayed about it, and started using the techniques it recommended. It requires a lot of consistency to work. We've had times were we (okay....I) slacked off and we saw a major difference. This book works for our family. I can't say if it would work for everyone but we have been truly blessed by it.My best advice....pray for wisdom daily. I was reading Proverbs 2 this morning and it was talking about those who ask for wisdom and understand will receive it. Aww...what a breath of fresh air for us parents who are clueless (me! me! me!) that God will be there to keep us going!

My question would be do you have any advice for a mom who is a bit nervous, and or scared about having another baby? Does having a second child just come naturally and does everything fall into place?

Funny, but out of all the questions people asked, this is the one I have been thinking about the most! I remember when I was pregnant with my second child being so upset because I honestly didn't think I could love another child as much as I loved Lilly. I felt so bad for this poor baby that was about to be born! But then, after the baby was born, it was like my heart grew bigger. I couldn't believe how much I loved this little boy! I'm not really sure what your fears and concerns are. But I assure you that each one of my children has been a HUGE blessing to me. Yes, with each one, I've had to grow in patience and flexibility but when I like of the joy that they've brought to my life...those are small things. On the more practical side of things, I don't remember having 2 being that big of a difference. Both of them still took naps so I still had some time to myself each day. When we went out as a family there was a child for each parent to attend to. For me, the adjustment from 2 children to 3 was a much more difficult adjustment. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't horrible. Just difficult. That is when life really started to get busy! :) But, the thing to remember is that children are a GIFT from God. I am floored that He would consider me worthy enough to raise 4 precious, eternal souls for Him. Wow!
My advice- pray about your fears. Give them over to the Lord and embrace any little gifts that the Lord wants to send your way! If you are looking for more specific advice, you'll have to ask, so I get a better picture of what you're looking for. :)

Hope that answered some questions. Like I said I, by no means, claim to have parenting figured out. But I must say, we are getting the hang of it....until the teenage years hit. Oh my....

Thanks for reading!

*Just a note- this is the last of the questions. So, if anyone else out there has any feel free to ask! If not, then I'm back to blogging about laundry, dirty diapers, and maybe a recipe or two. :)*

Running the race,


TheMama said...

Thank you for answering my question! I will pray about my fears. I had a emergency c-section with my son, and I think my fear is of another c-section. I just felt so bad after surgery I can't imagine feeling that way again with a toddler and a newborn. I am going to pray and I am sure God will work everything out for me. Thank you for taking time to answer my question.


Amanda said...

If it makes you feel any better, I had c-sections with all 4 of mine. Having someone there to help you (for at least 2 weeks) after surgery is a must! Recovery is not fun, I know. But having my other 3 little blessings was SO worth it!

TheMama said...

Wow. That does make me feel a lot better actually. At least I know you can do it. I am happy you shared that with me. Thank you. I will ask for the help this next time around. That is something I did not do the first time, and I really should have asked for help. Thanks again. :o)

Zombiemommy said...

Thanks, I read Train Up a Child and it is very logical and Created to Be a Help Meet (the biggest help yet).
Consistency is hard with a 4.5, 3, and 1.5 yr old.

I would say its my biggest thing, I say one thing, but think about it, and change my mind. Oh well.

Thanks for sharing.

Zombiemommy said...

PS Dear TheMama, please do consider joining an ICAN (International Cesearean Awareness yahoo group). They have chapters based on cities and regions. There are some amazing women out there that will arm you with information so that you will not feel like you will be forced to have a repeat c/s.
You can have a normal birth after csection! PS The reason I fought so hard was because I did struggle getting son#1 out of the crib after my second c/s and could not imagine trying to run after 2 kids with a third scar. Kudos to you Amanda, I am impressed.

I had a VBA2C and I did it because A) God, B) A doctor that would let me actually try and not pretend he would and then change his mind at week 37 and C) A good doula who had her own VBAC.

Amanda said...

Good call Zombiemommy! (P.S. Some time you must share the story behind your name. Sounds interesting!) A VBAC is very much possible! And for most people it goes great with no complications. It's a long, complicated story as to why it didn't work out for me, but we tried! Sadly, I was literally in tears when we decided to go ahead with the 2nd c-section. But, it really was for the best in my situation. And I agree, support while trying for a VBAC is SO helpful!